Yesterday as I’m scrolling through social media trying to still make sense of Kobe’s death, life, and just personal shit we all go through, I stumbled upon Geordan’s post on relationships and how challenging it is to find someone who speaks your love language. I struggle with communication in the many relationships I’ve come across. Assumptions, expectations and not doing the work to understand before acting out or choosing not to act at all has ended many of those relationships prematurely and most likely it’s been my fault. From an “Ok” response after they’ve sent me an ECR to over expressing myself to the point I’ve become annoying. I’ve wanted to be “in love” so much that I’ve allowed chasing that “soulmate” ideology cloud my judgement and given that intention to women who didn’t want nor deserve that much of me. Im a relationship type of guy but now I’m starting to realize that’s not always what’s best for me or those I tend to attract, some women just want to have fun not build and grow with you or wait for you to grow with them. I always thought being with me must be great, I care, I show affection, I trust people, I support and build up whoever I deal with unconditionally, but I also have my drawbacks and flaws that until as of recent I haven’t really noticed but it’s posts like this that snap me back into reality. I will always be a lover, now it’s just about who gets to receive that love and can reciprocate it in a manner that satisfies us both and being able to reciprocate that energy consistently. There’s nothing like the attention from who you want it from and sharing those moments that give you butterflies and time stands still. I still want that I just have to work on myself so that I can be the best Man I can be for my “Soulmate” if I still got one out there somewhere. Thanks again Geordan I really did need to see this.

Side note: Do you guys believe in Soulmates? If so have you met yours and did it work out? When I think of Soulmates I think of the Obamas, they are the epitome of everything I want out of a marriage and partner. I don’t think they make relationships like that no more. I’m no Barack either so I mean the odds are highly unlikely lol.